Becky vs The Mountain

About a week ago i sojourned to the great state of Tennessee to hang with the lovely Jena, since the end of school was also the end of our daily visits, and i was suffering from withdrawal. In my extensive research (aka facebook stalking) i had discovered pictures of Jena with a giant waterfall, and i got her to promise to take me to said waterfall during my visit. On Tuesday that promise was fulfilled as Jena, six of her closest friends, and i made our way to the mountain.

© Ben Verzi

At the top of this mountain there was a trail, and at the end of this trail there was a waterfall. At the top of this waterfall there were five or six rocks sticking out of the water in a nice line that almost reached to the other side of the river. I (in my infinite genius) decided it would be fun to cross this river. I took off my shoes and confidently hopped from one rock to the next until i ran out of rocks. I was wearing shorts and the water was not deep, so i figured i could just wade the rest of the way no problem.

Strangely enough the rocks under the water were not like the rocks above the water. The rocks above the water were dry and had your basic rock-type traction. The rocks under the water were frisbee-sized, round like eggs, and as smooth as a dirty politician. In other words, they were impossible to walk on. Nevertheless i tried and promptly fell on my face. I then swam the remainder of the river (approximately four feet) where i emerged dripping and shivering like crazy. (What? You mean mountain rivers aren’t warm in May?) Because i was freezing (and i wanted to feel like i had had some reason for crossing the river in the first place) i began climbing the cliff in front of me. This cliff was covered in brambles, and after fighting my way up thirty-five feet or so it became evident that there wasn’t really anywhere to go.

It was at this point that i realized i had my phone in my pocket. I took it out. Yep, completely soaked. Wonderful. Well i might as well head back down. On the way down i noticed blood dripping from my shin, and i shook my head and laughed at my epic brilliance.

After we had all returned to the bottom of the waterfall, we decided to make our way back up the trail. I was still soaked, and consequently freezing, so i took this opportunity to jog up the “giant stairs” as Jena called them. Apparently i’m not that in shape. I made it only a short way before my need for oxygen outweighed my need for warmth and i had to settle for a brisk walk.

©Ben Verzi

At the top of the “giant stairs” there was a nice out-cropping of rocks partway up the mountain near where the group stopped to wait for the slower, less-motivated, and/or late starters. Someone (Jena?) said we should climb up there for pictures. Another someone (Kyle?) proposed a race, and we began the assent. I had had a bit of a head start since i began at Jena’s comment rather than Kyle’s, but i still pretty much beasted it up the mountain, won without much competition, and regained a bit of my pride.

Going up has always been easier than going down, however, and the bottom twenty feet were a close-to-vertical hill of dirt and loose leaves. At the top of these twenty feet, the small tree that i was holding on to while i planned my descent broke.

Instead of looking for another handhold, i tried a running approach with a short leap at the bottom. It was very graceful in my head. Not so much in reality. Instead of the stuck landing with hands held high you see in gymnastics, i did a feet to knees to hands type landing all in the general direction of the steep trail i had previously attempted to run up. Yeah, that pride i had regained? Completely gone. Shattered. I was actually laughing, as a fell head-long toward the edge, at the ridiculous amount of klutziness and monumental discernment i was capable of displaying in only a few short hours.

Mountain:2  Becky:0

Attention?

Tonight i read about the decrease in attention spans while listening to my CD collection, checking on my photo backup project, chatting on facebook, and learning various interesting tidbits from my other tabs. Here are some of the highlights of my distraction:

• runpee.com tells you where the best spots to take bathroom breaks during in-theatres movies are
• red bell peppers and watermelon protect against sunburn
• Pledge can fix scratched CDs
• Boston was once flooded with molasses
• This dude knows how to ride a bike! (HT: Stephen)

Big Toe Scar

My oldest scar (as far as i can remember anyway) is an inch long line down my right big toe.

Like most kids, my brother and i had chores to do when we were younger. We did the basic stuff: fold laundry, mow the lawn, clean around the house, and wash dishes. Dish washing was the most regular chore (it happened every night go figure), and it was during this chore that i got my first battle scar.

My mom used to make us rinse the dishes before we put them in the dishwasher (i guess we had a crap dishwasher?), so my brother was rinsing the dishes, handing them to me, and i was putting them in the dish washer. Rick held out a wet, slippery, drinking glass; i reached for it; he let go, and it smashed all over the floor and my foot. Of course i wasn’t wearing shoes (who does that?), so i had a nice chunk of glass sticking out of my foot.

At this point i probably started crying (what can i say? i was still a little kid), and mom and dad came to see what all the commotion was about. The blood and the tears were pretty self explanatory. They washed my foot, wrapped it up, and made me lie on the floor with it elevated on a stack of pillows. Dad also made a rule against washing dishes barefoot, but it didn’t last very long if it lasted at all.

It’s a Series!

My friends who blog seem to have this thing with blog series, so, not wanting to be left out of hip blogging culture, i came up with some series ideas. My first thought was cop stories because everyone loves a thrilling tale of everyday, mostly law abiding, Joe sticking it to the man, but given this blog’s audience and the severe lack of facial expressions/sound effects (oo maybe i could post photos of facial expressions with stories? and mp3 sound effects? but i digress) i decided against that idea. However, feel free to ask about them in person unless you are 1. my mother or 2. a future employer (no offense, but these stories are not for the faint of heart).

My second idea was decidedly less epic, but hopefully still entertaining: Scar stories. I  have a mildly extensive collection of scars, some of which i’m rather proud of, that house many of my most treasured life moments. Over the course of the next few however-long-i-feel-like-its, i will share these stories with you, and then you can take them and pass them down through the generations until they become magnificently distorted and embellished.

First Day Back

• Got 14 hours of sleep
• Had a PB&J sandwich with milk
• Cleaned the right half of my room
• Had fajitas and chocolate cake
• Watched “Demolition Man” on a massive tv (comparatively anyway)
• Unpacked all of my clothes and completely unloaded the truck

So overall a very productive awesome day back. Tomorrow i’ll get to run some errands outside of the house and then finish my room. Home is not going to be nearly as boring as i feared. =)

College Top 20

This is the last night of my freshman year in college, and as such, i have decided to post some morsels of knowledge that i have collected throughout the year.

• The cheepest toilet paper is not the most economical.
• A Taco Bell #9 is a two-handed meal.
• Soap is an important part of doing laundry.
• A study buddy is the best way to stay motivated. (This also applies to gym buddies!)
• You can tell what kind of girl someone is by her reaction to two-fisted drinking.
• Having no one living beneath you is second only to having no one living above you.
• Some food items are perishable. These items are inferior and require special attention, so if given the option, always choose non-perishable food items.
• Take advantage of all your resources: never turn down food, money, friends, rides, or extra credit.
• Sleep is not as optional as you would like it to be.
• There are very few things important enough to warrant the use of an alarm clock, and none that require more than the vibrate function.
• Hammocks surpass even futons in the realm of excellent college furniture.
• It’s never a bad idea to walk past the kitchen.
• “I’m on a boat!” can be said every day for a week and still be funny.
• A hammock is the best sleeping surface; the sun is the best sleeping buddy, and the sound of crashing waves is the best lullaby.
• Cop stories are the closest thing to an infinite source of entertainment: everyone has at least one, and people are always collecting more.
• Never sleep in something you wouldn’t want to wear during a 1:20am fire drill.
• Empty sidewalks on the way to class are never a good sign.
• When entering extensive text online (such as in email or wikis), always be sure to hit copy before ‘send’ or ‘submit.’
• McMaster is a wonderful treasure trove of cameras and chainsaws.
• There’s no reason to sign a contract when a $10 go-phone works just as well.

Alarm Clock Adventures

I am posting this story at Jena’s request.

It was the Sunday everyone returned from spring break, and we were all catching up with each other. Jena and i were sitting in the hallway on upper third talking when we hear beeping. It was that horribly loud and unpleasant alarm clock beeping. We attempt to ignore it and continue talking until the owner turns it off, but he never does. “Hmmm” i think, “whoever’s alarm clock that is must have mixed up their AMs and PMs and isn’t even in the room right now because no one could possibly sleep through all that racket.” Jena seemed to agree with my reasoning, so i looked for a way into the offending room. Obviously knocking on the door would be pointless. We knocked on the offender’s suitemate’s door (who Jena thankfully knew) and Don answered the door.

“Hey Don, can you go in your suitemate’s room and turn off his alarm clock? It’s really annoying.”

He was unwilling to do so, but said that we could go in if we wanted to. Jena didn’t want to, but i had no problem with it; it’s not like there would be anyone in there. I confidently crossed through the bathroom into the adjacent room. All the lights were out, so i headed for the light switch. After i turned on the lights i walked back over to the bed where the hideous screeching was coming from. The bed was lofted and the alarm clock was sitting on one of those loft-side table things. I reached over my head for the alarm clock, turned off the alarm, and reached back up to replace the clock. As i put the clock back, a head peaked over the side of the loft. My heart stopped. And then it raced.

“I’m so sorry,” i stammered as my face flushed red. “I didn’t think anyone was in here.”
“It’s cool,” the offender murmured sleepily.
“I’m sorry,” i stammered again and escaped through the bathroom where i immediately burst in to laughter. Jena found the whole event hysterical, and we have been laughing ever since.

Windows

Today i watched a squirrel build a nest in the tree right outside my window and thought about how fun it must be to leap between branches. Yesterday i watched a little girl push a stroller, a guy almost run a red light, and a dog get pulled away from what looked to be a particularly interesting telephone pole. Everyone should put his bed next to a window.