Why i hate phones
It’s much harder to understand people on the phone. Not only are you deprived of visual aids, but everything happens so fast.
HellothisisPapaJohnswouldyoulikethewhateverspecialwithsuchandsuch?
uuuuuuuuh what? um no?
okwhatsyourphonenumber?
um XXX-XXX-XXXX? why do you care? i just want to order a pizza. can i please just have a pizza?
And then my mom complains when i don’t ask them about the specials so i can be sure to get the best deal. Are you kidding me? Do you know what happens when you ask them about their specials? It’s similar to what happens when you ask a Texas A&M fish about General Coke’s Advice.
Wellfirstwehavethetwolargethreetoppingsforsuchandsuchpricethenyoucangetatwolittercoke
andbreadsticksforonlysuchandsuchorwiththesomethingorotherdealyoucangetthisrandom
weirdspecialtypizzaforalimitedtimeonlyyoucanalsogetpersonalpizzaswithpancrustsforthisprice
ortheresthereallybigfamilydealwithfourlargeonetoppingsforrediculouspricewhatdoyouwant?
So then i’m supposed to take that list, compare it to what my family has said they wanted, and decide what is the cheapest option that makes everyone happy. Not an easy task especially when you’re already shaking, afraid you’ll get the wrong answer.
Why the cingular phone call was even better than could be imagined
With cingular, as with the bank and every other phone conversation, i misunderstood a lot of what the lady said. Like the bank people and unlike the pizza people, she went with it. When she asked what kind of phone i had and i read her the number on the battery, she just told me how to product id number from the phone. When i misunderstood again and typed the directions into the phone i was talking on (because she didn’t tell me she was still trying to figure out what kind of phone i have), she just calmly told me how to do it again. She also never left that awkward “i’m working, listen to me breathe” phone silence. Instead she narrated everything she was doing, and even asked me about the weather. (Come to think of it the bank lady asked me about the weather too. Must be a phone answerer thing.)
There were even two times when my stomach had clenched in anticipation of the familiar torment, but my fears were denied. When i wasn’t authorized to do stuff with the account (because it’s a family account) and didn’t know the code, i thought they were going to tell me to come back when i was prepared. Instead they just got my dad’s number and asked him. Then when i told them what kind of phone i had and they informed me that, not only was it no longer supported by cingular, but when it was supported it was only intended to be used with a pay-as-you-go plan (no kidding, you mean cingular didn’t intend for people to jack the go-phones so they wouldn’t have to be tied to a contract or pay ridiculous prices?), i was sure the conversation was over. It wasn’t though. The lady just continued down her list of things to try to fix the phone. Even the tech dude, who was not nearly as entertaining to talk to (i spent quite a bit of time listening to him breathe), didn’t complain for very long about my unorthodox phone.
Barefoot in the Rain 